I am SO behind! I feel like I can't move on to talk about anything else until I talk about the half-marathon I participated in...which was no officially, like, four months ago! Where does the time go?!
One of my favorite quotes to live by is this: “The true test of a man’s character is what he does when no one is watching.” There is a period of time in any athletic event that requires a lot of time and miles in which you will experience what it feels like to be putting in A LOT of work when no one is watching. A period of time when 'the hush' falls over the crowd of participants and suddenly if this is not a concept you have been of aware of in the past you are suddenly living it! You can either stop where you're at (and since no one is watching it would be a really easy thing to do) or you can keep moving forward and do the work for YOURSELF. The very first time I experienced this I was fresh out of college and participating in an adventure race which started with a 25 mile bike ride. The bike ride started on this HUGE hill which was no easy feat to complete even with all the cheering from the sidelines. When I got to the top of this enormous, mile long, hill the crowd had fizzled and it was quiet and from the very top of that hill all I could see was miles and miles and miles (and miles) of country roads with LOTS and LOTS of hills. I literally wanted my mom. I had officially experienced 'the hush' and I didn't like it or appreciate it, in fact I was suddenly a toddler who needed my mom to rescue me and I'm not going to lie-there were tears. There was no one on the side line cheering me on, or holding up signs for me to read so I could forget about my troubles. My mom was hundreds of miles away at home and, truthfully, if I would have called her she probably would have told me that if I would have listened to her in the first place I wouldn't have even signed up for something that would lead me to this predicament (gotta love moms!). So with no help available I did the only thing I could think of-I swore,out loud-I said every swear word I could think of while riding up and down those hills for at least two miles, maybe five... fortunately after about mile five my brain had caught on that I wasn't giving up and the ride got better after that.
The next time in life that I can think of when I truly experienced this was in 2011 when my best friend and I did one 90 mile day of RAGBRAI. We started that morning in Marshalltown and ended in Cedar Rapids. That morning as we got on our bikes and rode through town everyone was along the route like we were in some kind of parade but as we left town and go out into "the country" suddenly there was a hush-'The Hush' -all the people were gone, there were no signs, no accolades- the only thing you could do now is pedal your bike and hope to make it to the next town where you once again experience a party or festival being held just for you!During the half-marathon, the entire first mile there was hundreds of people along the sidelines holding up signs and cheering, in fact I had to laugh a little when everyone cheered as we crossed over that first mile marker (one down 12 to go....or for the people running the marathon it was one down 25 to go!)Woo hoo we're almost there! (*insert sarcasm here). As we crossed over that first mile marker and headed into the second and third mile and beyond I felt 'the hush' go over the group and again all we had left to do was the real work, with out the accolades.
I believe that I experience 'the hush' from a much healthier perspective now and have even come to appreciate it. In fact, I think 'the hush' is what keeps me coming back for more with these types of events! I can't help but also feel like 'the hush' is when you really feel the connection between your own mind and body and also when you really feel the connection with the other runners/bikers/etc that are participating in the event with you. During Ragbrai this is when fellow bikers really started taking care of each other-giving a hand signal to let others know that a rumble strip is coming, or a shout from the front to alert you to be careful ("Car!" "Debris!" etc.). It was during 'the hush' that I remember pedaling up a hill to nowhere and a biker came up next to me to provide some encouragement. During the half marathon it was during 'the hush' that volunteers on their bikes would come along and offer licorice or a tissue. Other runners, too, always seemed to have a few words of encouragement to hand out just when you needed it.
I believe that the experiences that occur during 'the hush' are the ones that are going to stick with you so much longer than the accolades from the sidelines; these are the experiences that are responsible for building genuine belief in yourself and your abilities....and isn't that true for every day life as well???
February 15, 2014
October 11, 2013
No Turning Back Now!!
Well, this is it! Next weekend I'll be heading to Des Moines to participate in the Des Moine half-marathon, there is no turning back now!! I had a dream last night about the event, it was quite hilarious actually! I was running and I kept complaining that I've only been running for like 5 minutes and that there is no way that I'll ever get to the finish line before dark; but then someone showed me a clock which showed that I had been running for 6 hours and then I felt really proud of myself. I continued following everyone and the route was so confusing, at one point someone drove me across the interstate (?) and then when I saw the finish line I made them let me out so I could cross it (cheat much??). Anyway I crossed that finish line and found out I finished the 1/2 marathon in 12 hours...and I was EXCITED about that! If it takes me 12 hours to cross the finish line somebody please come pick me up and drive me across the interstate!!
Through out my training I have been able to hold a steady pace of somewhere between 11 to 12 minute miles, which is not fast at all BUT slow and steady is what I'm going for. So I would like to be done in like 2 hours and 30 minutes...my only goal is to cross the finish line so if I don't get there until 3 hours that is fine too.
I am remembering my very first athletic event that I did in 2002, it was an adventure race that I did with my friend Jon and his dad. It started out with a 15 mile bike ride, followed by a 5 mile canoeing trip, then a 5k at the end. I remember getting to the top of the hill on my bike and seeing nothing but country ahead of me and know that there was no turning back, I truly wanted my mom! It was a crazy feeling, I felt alone, scared, mad at myself! But I told myself to buck up and I did and I got through it...so "Buck up self, you'll be fine!" There, that's my pep talk!
Through out my training I have been able to hold a steady pace of somewhere between 11 to 12 minute miles, which is not fast at all BUT slow and steady is what I'm going for. So I would like to be done in like 2 hours and 30 minutes...my only goal is to cross the finish line so if I don't get there until 3 hours that is fine too.
I am remembering my very first athletic event that I did in 2002, it was an adventure race that I did with my friend Jon and his dad. It started out with a 15 mile bike ride, followed by a 5 mile canoeing trip, then a 5k at the end. I remember getting to the top of the hill on my bike and seeing nothing but country ahead of me and know that there was no turning back, I truly wanted my mom! It was a crazy feeling, I felt alone, scared, mad at myself! But I told myself to buck up and I did and I got through it...so "Buck up self, you'll be fine!" There, that's my pep talk!
July 24, 2013
Action!
It's been a little over three months since I last posted here about my journey toward completing a half-marathon; I will say that over the last three months I have been wrestling through the "contemplation" "preparation" and "action" stages (see my previous post titled Stages of Change) and I am just now sure that it is safe to say "ACTION" with no turning back. Whew, that's a scary idea, but an exciting one!!
Training for any kind of athletic event is naturally difficult and challenging even for the most seasoned athlete. I wouldn't say that I'm naturally athletic with tons of granola-like energy for these kinds of things, in fact I really like to sit on the couch and watch Lifetime movies while playing games on my Ipad-so the decision to complete a 13.1 mile athletic event is not something I would choose to do without a method behind the madness! That "method" is exactly what I want to write about today! About two years ago I caught this bug and most of you who know me have probably heard me talk about it at some point (or at several points) over the last couple of years, that "bug" is the organization "Girls on the Run" (GOTR). In short Girls on the Run is an afterschool program designed to encourage and inspire young girls, ages 8-11, to "recognize her inner strength...and to define her life on her own terms". I've been involved with this program for two official seasons-both as a GOTR board member and as a GOTR coach. What this means first of all is that I am in mad-crazy love with this organization (mad-crazy enough to run a half-marathon) and most importantly that I have seen first hand the impact this program has on the lives of the girls who are able to participate!
The longer I am a part of this organization the more passionate I become about it, and about inspiring young girls to DEFINE their lives on their OWN terms! One of the best things about Girls on the Run is that we, as an organization, want any girl to participate despite ability to pay the $150.00 registration fee (the registration fee covers the necessities for the season including curriculum, materials, medals, t-shirts, volunteer recruitment, coach training and certification, coach background checks, healthy snacks, water bottles, 5k race registration, program management, etc). In order to allow all girls to participate despite income level or ability to pay GOTR does fundraising through out the year to build a scholarship fund that can be utilized by any girl who wants to participate but cannot afford the fee. On our registration form the girls (and their families) are simply asked to pay what they can whether it be $5.00 or the entire $150.00; the scholarship fund then absorbs the remainder of the cost. According to the GOTREI annual report our chapter served over 600 girls in the Iowa City/Cedar Rapids area and provided over $44,000.00 in scholarships in FY2012...so as you can see the program itself, and the scholarships provided are kind of a big deal!
One of the fundraising programs that GOTREI launched in 2012 was the Solemates adult charity running program; according to the annual report this program raised $10,000.00 in it's first year! And that, my friends, brings us full circle in my explaination of the method behind my madness! I CAUGHT THE BUG! And through my journey with Girls on the Run and with the Solemates program I want to help you catch the bug too, whether it's helping me to raise money for local girls by donating for my race, or the decision to sign up to participate in your own Solemates event! You could also consider becomeing GOTR coach...the possibilities are endless and I want you to feel the energy and spread the word!!
My three main goals for participating in Solemates:
1. To spread the word about Girls on the Run and all the awesome work the organization does for girls in THIS community and around the world.
2. Complete the Des Moines half-marathon (13.1 miles) as an inspiration for the girls who participate in the program, locally and world-wide, to see what it means to set a goal in mind and work hard to achieve it, and to be inspired to do the same!
3. Raise money (my goal is $500.00) to benefit girls locally and pave the way for them to be able to participate in the program despite household income or ability to pay the registration fee.
Will you consider helping me out and making a tax-deductible donation? It's super easy to donate, here is a link to my fundraising site: https://www.raceplanner.com/donate/Vicky_Wieben_GOTR. All funds that are donated go directly to Girls on the Run of Eastern Iowa to benefit girls locally in the Iowa City/Cedar Rapids area. I will continue to blog about my own journey and about this organization! Thanks for your help!
Training for any kind of athletic event is naturally difficult and challenging even for the most seasoned athlete. I wouldn't say that I'm naturally athletic with tons of granola-like energy for these kinds of things, in fact I really like to sit on the couch and watch Lifetime movies while playing games on my Ipad-so the decision to complete a 13.1 mile athletic event is not something I would choose to do without a method behind the madness! That "method" is exactly what I want to write about today! About two years ago I caught this bug and most of you who know me have probably heard me talk about it at some point (or at several points) over the last couple of years, that "bug" is the organization "Girls on the Run" (GOTR). In short Girls on the Run is an afterschool program designed to encourage and inspire young girls, ages 8-11, to "recognize her inner strength...and to define her life on her own terms". I've been involved with this program for two official seasons-both as a GOTR board member and as a GOTR coach. What this means first of all is that I am in mad-crazy love with this organization (mad-crazy enough to run a half-marathon) and most importantly that I have seen first hand the impact this program has on the lives of the girls who are able to participate!
The longer I am a part of this organization the more passionate I become about it, and about inspiring young girls to DEFINE their lives on their OWN terms! One of the best things about Girls on the Run is that we, as an organization, want any girl to participate despite ability to pay the $150.00 registration fee (the registration fee covers the necessities for the season including curriculum, materials, medals, t-shirts, volunteer recruitment, coach training and certification, coach background checks, healthy snacks, water bottles, 5k race registration, program management, etc). In order to allow all girls to participate despite income level or ability to pay GOTR does fundraising through out the year to build a scholarship fund that can be utilized by any girl who wants to participate but cannot afford the fee. On our registration form the girls (and their families) are simply asked to pay what they can whether it be $5.00 or the entire $150.00; the scholarship fund then absorbs the remainder of the cost. According to the GOTREI annual report our chapter served over 600 girls in the Iowa City/Cedar Rapids area and provided over $44,000.00 in scholarships in FY2012...so as you can see the program itself, and the scholarships provided are kind of a big deal!
One of the fundraising programs that GOTREI launched in 2012 was the Solemates adult charity running program; according to the annual report this program raised $10,000.00 in it's first year! And that, my friends, brings us full circle in my explaination of the method behind my madness! I CAUGHT THE BUG! And through my journey with Girls on the Run and with the Solemates program I want to help you catch the bug too, whether it's helping me to raise money for local girls by donating for my race, or the decision to sign up to participate in your own Solemates event! You could also consider becomeing GOTR coach...the possibilities are endless and I want you to feel the energy and spread the word!!
My three main goals for participating in Solemates:
1. To spread the word about Girls on the Run and all the awesome work the organization does for girls in THIS community and around the world.
2. Complete the Des Moines half-marathon (13.1 miles) as an inspiration for the girls who participate in the program, locally and world-wide, to see what it means to set a goal in mind and work hard to achieve it, and to be inspired to do the same!
3. Raise money (my goal is $500.00) to benefit girls locally and pave the way for them to be able to participate in the program despite household income or ability to pay the registration fee.
Will you consider helping me out and making a tax-deductible donation? It's super easy to donate, here is a link to my fundraising site: https://www.raceplanner.com/donate/Vicky_Wieben_GOTR. All funds that are donated go directly to Girls on the Run of Eastern Iowa to benefit girls locally in the Iowa City/Cedar Rapids area. I will continue to blog about my own journey and about this organization! Thanks for your help!
April 3, 2013
Stages of Change
There is a model for behavioral change that smart people in the 80's used research to come up with to assess a person's readiness for change. This is called the Transtheoretical model and there are 5 stages: Precontemplation (either completely unaware of the issue or just unwilling to do anything about it), Contemplation ( Aware of the issue and thinking about overcoming it but mostly uncommited to taking any action), Preparation ( Aware of the problem and having good intentions about taking action within the next month or so but have unsuccessfully done so for more than a year or so), Action (actually committing time and energy to change the behavior), and Maintenance (preventing relapse from occurring).
So being a therapist, working in a mental health clinic, and being constantly surrounded by therapists of whom you consider your friends it's a little difficult to try and make changes without having to truly conceptualize what it means to make a change and the most effective ways to go about making that change. This is how I get to a blog post about the Trantheoretical Model of Change. So it's been a joke between one of my friends (and coworker) that I have been slipping in and out of the precontemplation, comtemplation and preparation stages. So I'm aware theres an issue and some days I'm unwilling to do anything about it, other days I just think about overcoming it and the rest of the days I do have good intentions about taking action, but they are not always carried out. I do think over the past month or so I've moved completely out of the precontemplation stage and have even dabble in the action phase because I have gone for a run a handful of times.
But now, spring has arrived and the time has come to announce that I am IN the action phase. No more dabbling around to the stages I find most comfortable for my mood that day...action it is!! Ugh. Just typing that kind of sends me straight back to precontemplation. Sigh.
This weekend Team Vic is gearing up for Season 3!! We will be running the Live Healthy Linn 5k in Hiawatha. Considering it's Wednesday and I'm just NOW declaring ACTION...I guarantee this race will be have to be a "get through it without throwing up" kind of run! :)
Wish me luck and considering donating to my cause! I'm currently attempting to raise money as part of a fundraising group called "Sole Mates". I will be running a half-marathon in Des Moines in October and all the money I raise will go to our local chapter--Girls on the Run of Eastern Iowa! Check out the website for more information on this awesome program and learn how to donate!! www.girlsontherun.org or girlsontheruniowa.org
So being a therapist, working in a mental health clinic, and being constantly surrounded by therapists of whom you consider your friends it's a little difficult to try and make changes without having to truly conceptualize what it means to make a change and the most effective ways to go about making that change. This is how I get to a blog post about the Trantheoretical Model of Change. So it's been a joke between one of my friends (and coworker) that I have been slipping in and out of the precontemplation, comtemplation and preparation stages. So I'm aware theres an issue and some days I'm unwilling to do anything about it, other days I just think about overcoming it and the rest of the days I do have good intentions about taking action, but they are not always carried out. I do think over the past month or so I've moved completely out of the precontemplation stage and have even dabble in the action phase because I have gone for a run a handful of times.
But now, spring has arrived and the time has come to announce that I am IN the action phase. No more dabbling around to the stages I find most comfortable for my mood that day...action it is!! Ugh. Just typing that kind of sends me straight back to precontemplation. Sigh.
This weekend Team Vic is gearing up for Season 3!! We will be running the Live Healthy Linn 5k in Hiawatha. Considering it's Wednesday and I'm just NOW declaring ACTION...I guarantee this race will be have to be a "get through it without throwing up" kind of run! :)
Wish me luck and considering donating to my cause! I'm currently attempting to raise money as part of a fundraising group called "Sole Mates". I will be running a half-marathon in Des Moines in October and all the money I raise will go to our local chapter--Girls on the Run of Eastern Iowa! Check out the website for more information on this awesome program and learn how to donate!! www.girlsontherun.org or girlsontheruniowa.org
February 9, 2013
"You.Cannot.WING.A.Half-Marathon."
 |
| College-Age Me |
 |
| Adventure Racing |
After I graduated and moved to Cedar Rapids I was that much more exited about working out because I had a lot of extra time on my hands since I no longer had homework to worry about. One of my friends convinced me to participate in two adventure races one summer. One was four hours and one was eight. So I rowed my own canoe for 4 miles, biked 19 miles and then ran 3.1 miles all in a matter of 4 hours...by choice!
 |
| This is one of my very favorite wedding pictures of Matt fluffing my dress! :) |
 |
| The day before I delievered my baby boy |
And then I decided to go to graduate school which was stressful!! I think I'm still stressed from grad school! Oh, and this happened...
But really, who could complain with a baby this adorable?
Team Vic was established in 2011, when my bestie Vicki and I decided to participate in some events together...
 |
| April 2011 |
The summer of 2012 was our biggest year yet with five 5k's completed and a 90 mile bike ride from Marshalltown to Cedar Rapids!! It was a fun summer!
In 2012 running took on a more philanthropic reason specifically last fall when a lot of hard work paid off and Linn County hosted their first season of Girls on the Run in 4 area schools. Watching the girls who participated grow, change, and realize their internal worth changed ME. Here is a post I wrote about Girls on the Run and what it means to me to be a part of it. I'm proud to serve on the Board of Directors for Girls on the Run of Eastern Iowa and will be coaching a team of middle school girls at Tanager Place later this month. I have wanted to participate in Solemates since I've heard about it but wasn't sure if I was ready for the commitment of anything more than a 5k because running is difficult and I am not in as good of shape as I used to be. But after completing a day of Ragbrai without training prior to the event (Huge mistake!) I've decided that I have the mental power to complete at least a half-marathon, I can raise money for a good cause AND cross it off my bucket list!! I'll try and keep up to date with my training on here, if for nothing more than to keep myself accountable BECAUSE I tend to suck at training for these kind of events but I must make my mantra "You.Cannot.WING.A.Half-Marathon." :) Stay tuned!
March 22, 2012
T is for TWO (take 2)
Well, anyway...I didn't get to take the whole day off to spend with him but I did go watch his music class at school and then took him out for lunch :)
When we got back to his daycare (we call it "school") after lunch it was nap time. I didn't want to upset him and disrupt all the kids already sleeping so I thought to myself "Well, I'll just stay a little while so he doesn't cry and once he's asleep I'll go." Well about 10 minutes later my sweet boy says "bye, mom" I thought for sure he doesn't know what he's saying, he doesn't want me to leave! So I asked him, "you want mommy to leave?" and he said "yea". Heartbreak!! So I think to myself that if I stand up and start to leave he'll for sure make a fuss because he doesn't want his mommy to leave! So I stand up and just kind of look at him waiting for him to start whining for me to sit back down...but no he just blew me a kiss then turned over on his tummy and started sucking his thumb. So I walked out and kept looking back at my little boy who is independently laying on his cot with not a care in the world. Of course he's still my cuddle bug who adores his mommy and daddy but for that moment I really had to grab a hold of the fact that he won't always be my "baby" no matter how much I say he will!This growing up thing is so bitter sweet and though I'm sure this is a feeling that all mommies in the world feel as their little ones grow (or grew) up...it's still difficult for the mommies who experience it for the first time with their first child. The sweet part is watching him grow and learn. Listening to him talk and have thoughts of his own...the bitter part is when I miss that baby smell, his soft hair and gummy, drooling mouth. When I miss those little clothes and baby giggles.
The baby toys have been replaced with big boy toys like trucks and tractors. That soft, fine baby hair has now become unruly, thick hair that wants never wants to stay in place. That gummy smile has turned into a mouth full of little pearly white teeth and a sponge bob toothbrush. Those cute little clothes have been replaced with big boy clothes that don't say things like "I love mommy" or "Team Daddy" on them. Those baby giggles have turned into BIG belly laughs with a constant plea for "mowe tickle". And he goes from being my baby to being my little buddy. As things change and I attempt to hold on when I think about the the great things to come for this little boy and his sentimental momma the sweet definitely takes over the bitter!!
I created this slideshow on www.onetruemedia.com so that I can remember his second year of life; so I can move on with him as he grows but look back whenever I need to. I did this last year to remember his first year of life and enjoy watching it from time to time and seeing how much he has grown and changed. This video took me FOREVER to finish because I did not sort his pictures very well through the year and I had to find the perfect songs. But am so glad I took the time to complete it because I will cherish it forever!!
March 9, 2012
T is for TWO
I haven't written a post in a couple of weeks! Which also means I haven't spent any quality time with Carmen in a couple of weeks! But you see, my sweet baby boy is turning TWO next week and like the (un)organized mama that I am I have been trying to get his two year video done!
Last year for his first birthday I made this video:
I love this video, I ordered the DVD of it and love to watch it from time to time because he has been SUCH a joy!! Riley turning two is so bittersweet...I love watching him grow and learn but I also just want to keep him little, sweet, and innocent. It's a scary world out there!
So I definitely want to make a video for him every year. Right now I'm having to go through all my pictures from the last year (there are A LOT) and organize them into months and then organize them onto the video. I already have a couple of songs picked out but I will have to narrow down the pictures to fit the two songs. I want it to be awesome so I just keep going over it and over it (read about my perfectionist tendencies here). I think this year my goal will be to keep them organized by month through out the year so I don't have to do so much work just to get started on the video. So for now Carmen will have to collect a little dust and understand that my boy is only little once and I'm sure once he is grown she and I will have LOTS of time together...I'm sure she understands!!! :)
 |
| Riley Matthew, age 2 |
Last year for his first birthday I made this video:
I love this video, I ordered the DVD of it and love to watch it from time to time because he has been SUCH a joy!! Riley turning two is so bittersweet...I love watching him grow and learn but I also just want to keep him little, sweet, and innocent. It's a scary world out there!
So I definitely want to make a video for him every year. Right now I'm having to go through all my pictures from the last year (there are A LOT) and organize them into months and then organize them onto the video. I already have a couple of songs picked out but I will have to narrow down the pictures to fit the two songs. I want it to be awesome so I just keep going over it and over it (read about my perfectionist tendencies here). I think this year my goal will be to keep them organized by month through out the year so I don't have to do so much work just to get started on the video. So for now Carmen will have to collect a little dust and understand that my boy is only little once and I'm sure once he is grown she and I will have LOTS of time together...I'm sure she understands!!! :)
February 27, 2012
Sunday is Sew Relaxing!
A miracle occurred yesterday, I'm not sure if you heard about it. It was the strangest thing, I put my 2 year old down for a nap and then chose not to take a nap myself! This was a big decision for me, one that I almost always regret later...one truth about me is that I love naps, a lot! There was mild regret right around 5:30 but not too bad because I spent the afternoon in my craft area and FINALLY got to start my online home ec class!! For today at least, sewing trumped napping! I can promise you that there has been nothing in the past at least 5 years that has EVER trumped a nap!! It is truly a miracle!
Anyway I have to be a little careful about what I share regarding this class because of copyright so I won't give any tutorials just some pictures of before, after, and maybe a few in between! :)
First things first, I grabbed my trusty sidekick Ernie and a sparkling beverage that was necessary due to the zero nap situation.
There is one tool that in a very short time has become very invaluable to me! That tool is painters tape.
I would think (hope?) that all beginning sew-ers find it very hard to sew in a straight line. I also find it very hard to cut in a straight line but that's another story for another time. I was so glad I read this post on http://prudentbaby.com. Actually I'm just glad in general that I came across the Prudent Baby website, it's great!! They suggest the following:
Mmmmm...not bad if I do say so myself. it definitely looks better scrunched up than flat...That's not what I was exactly going for but I'll take it. There are a couple of things that bother me and I plan to make another just to try to perfect the skill a little more. So until this point I explained all the ups now lets talk about the downs...and, as a personal favor, please frown while you read.
#1. Oh those lines!! I know that what seems like just one paragraph ago I sang praise to the almighty painter's tape which makes me sew so straight BUT I've decided that the reason (excuse?) these particular lines on my project (pictured below) are sooo crooked is because this line had to go all the way AROUND and then meet up again on the front...WITH a gap between! So when one struggles with straight, it's no surprise that there would be a struggle with around (can I get an AMEN???) Here's a closer look:
What's a girl to do? My panicked brain said "just dump it you failure" but my (still developing) crafty brain said "just finish it best you can, learn from your mistakes, and try again!" Oh crafty brain, you're so nice, thanks!! Stay tuned for Project 1, Take 2 :)
Anyway I have to be a little careful about what I share regarding this class because of copyright so I won't give any tutorials just some pictures of before, after, and maybe a few in between! :)
First things first, I grabbed my trusty sidekick Ernie and a sparkling beverage that was necessary due to the zero nap situation.
 |
| A sparkling beverage |
 |
| My sidekick: Ernie |
 |
| KNOW how important this is! |
"Painter’s tape
. This is my trick for sewing straight especially when working with
. This is my trick for sewing straight especially when working with
large fabric pieces...just measure from your needle over to the tape edge and sew straight
for days."
GENIUS!! I always use it on my sewing machine now and I USED to use it to cut fabric straight, however I recently purchased a rotary cutter and self-healing mat (for 50% off at JoAnn Fabrics!) and I LOVE LOVE LOVE it...but again, another story, another time we've got to stay focused here!!!!
So the first project is a fabric gift bag! It's supposed to look like this:
So here's what I ended up with:
Mmmmm...not bad if I do say so myself. it definitely looks better scrunched up than flat...That's not what I was exactly going for but I'll take it. There are a couple of things that bother me and I plan to make another just to try to perfect the skill a little more. So until this point I explained all the ups now lets talk about the downs...and, as a personal favor, please frown while you read.
#1. Oh those lines!! I know that what seems like just one paragraph ago I sang praise to the almighty painter's tape which makes me sew so straight BUT I've decided that the reason (excuse?) these particular lines on my project (pictured below) are sooo crooked is because this line had to go all the way AROUND and then meet up again on the front...WITH a gap between! So when one struggles with straight, it's no surprise that there would be a struggle with around (can I get an AMEN???) Here's a closer look:
 |
| This is where it got scary... |
 |
| The back: really not too bad if I do say so myself |
I'm not really sure how I'm going do this differently the next time around but I'm hoping for practice to make perfect and maybe a little extra help from Carmen!!! What'daya say Carmen...you in??
 |
| Well put! |
#2. Those moments of sheer panic where you say to yourself "You dumb-dumb you just ruined this whole project!" I hate those moments!! I almost gave up on this one but I took a deep breath and looked back through the instructions.See if you can follow me here-o.k. the instructions said to sew a line around this bad boy and leave a 1.5-2 inch gap on the front. THEN you're supposed sew a second line around leaving about a quarter inch space between the two lines. So I'm thinking to myself that a quarter inch space is not going to accommodate my ribbon at all! Thinking I was ahead of the game...or at least the head of the class I pinned my ribbon on the bag and sewed above it leaving about a 2 inch space between the two lines (pictured above). But THEN the instructions got even more complicated and the panic continued building up. Next I was supposed to sew a perpendicular line that would literally close off that space I just made for my beautiful ribbon! Well, that doesn't make sense, how will I get my ribbon through?? Ahh, I'll just skip that step. But then even MORE confusion set in when instructed to handsew a rectangle between the two lines. That was it, top of the panic chart instantly!! I must have just stood and stared at my mess at least 2 minutes before deciding what to do...and what, you might wonder, did I do? Well, I went back through and read the instructions again. Which brings me to bother #3.
#3 Hooked on phonics? Sewing for Dummies? Somebody help me out!! I think I missed the most important note of the entire project. Doh!
 |
| Note: Say what?? You're not being clear...oh wait, yes you are!! |
February 25, 2012
the BIG reveal
So...after seeing this I declared that before I could really sit down and learn to sew I MUST do something about my craft space! So I started thinking and the original plan was to purchase two bookshelves and a board and do a DIY craft table. First I had to clear off the a large space in our basement and that means two SUV loads of junk to Goodwill. Once I got the area in the basement completely cleared out I was able to focus again on what kind of table I wanted. The more I got into the details about what I would need to make a table the more I realized that DIY when it involves wood, measurements, cutting, etc....it's just not for me. So I grabbed my coupon that I received from Hancock Fabric and was able to get an AWESOME table for 25% off the regular price and then use a $5.00 off coupon. It ended up costing $120.00 which, when all would have been said and done that is probably about what building a table would have cost, besides buying one is a lot less of a head ache!! WAIT...or is it??
 |
| Here's the instructions and the (literal) nuts and bolts |
 |
| Here's my "table" |
So without further delay it's time for the big REVEAL!!
 |
| Ta-Da! |
February 24, 2012
Couch Potatoes, Silverware Drawers, and Haircuts
 |
| http://signopress.com/signo-publishes-youre-way-too-busy-to-read-this/ |
I'm not a jealous person, I'm truly not. I like my life the way it is, I like myself the way I am and what I don't like I know that it is within me to change. I know better than to envy other people because everyone is fighting their own inner-battles. With that said I admit that there is apparently an exception to my school of thought because I'm suddenly super envious of successful bloggers! How do you keep up? I mean, really?? I LOVE writing! Putting thoughts into words is my forte, I would rather write than talk, so WHY is it so hard for me to actually sit down and write on a regular basis?!? For example I have been going on and on about my poor sewing area and how pathetic it looked. A month (or so) ago I was on a MISSION to get it into shape to the point where I couldn't even start my home-ec class until I had that space organized! I was (and am) so excited to redeem myself with a picture of my upgraded digs and well excitement or not I have had my craft area of the basement finished for a good two weeks now...and I STILL haven't blogged about it! I think this is a great example of the dilemma that brings me back to my first post about why blogging, and really this on-slot of never-ending interests, will eventually be the death of me. And by death I mostly just mean becoming a tired, uninterested, couch-potato.
 |
| http://justanothercouchpotato.blogspot.com/ |
#1. How does one hone in on an interest?
I truly have so many interests, I promise I'm not making this up! In no particular order I have a rough draft list of interest to be a dog groomer; to work at an online shipping place where I receive an order to be shipped out to the buyer and I have to get all the items from the warehouse, package them and send them off (yes it's THAT specific!); I want to sew all my own clothes; I want to be good at everything I try; I want to hang out with my friends;...and I also just want to take a nap! If I hone in on just ONE of these things, does that mean that I have to give up the rest?? I mean this list goes on and on and on, and changes daily. My mind is always coming up with new things I want to try, it doesn't stop! Just the other day I was thinking to myself, why stop at a master's degree maybe I should go back to school for a doctorate. WHAT? Go BACK to school?? Am I crazy?? Maybe, but mostly I think my brain's "standby" switch is broken!
#2. How does one balance working, raising child/ren, blogging, crafting, (insert other interests here) AND keeping a clean house??
Oh my how my life has changed after having a child! First of all I now have to add to the list a plethora of interests that involves kids! Like the fact that I can't wait until my son is old enough to put together those cool Lego kits! Those are so fun! Ok, wait see what I'm dealing with here? Just now-new interest, add it to the list! I enjoy watching him play with other kids, I pretty much enjoy any interaction with him (even the tantrums), and also I add to my list any (healthy) interest in the things he is interested in (currently this mostly includes Toy Story2 and trucks). He's my world. If I never get ANYTHING done in life but I raise a healthy, happy, confident child I will have conquered EVERYTHING, this interest/goal trumps them all! :)
With that said, I also enjoy working (most days). I have spent A LOT of time in college in order to be able to get the jobs that I want to get. I have a lot of interests within my career field and it takes a standy-by switch that has been repaired-with-bubble-gum and heavy-duty duct tape not to go after them all! The word BALANCE has become my mantra, but I'm still so obviously a novice.
On top of that as I reach 30 I seem to slowly be getting in touch with my traditional house-wifey type roles, the ones that even two years ago I would have laughed in the face of! These "roles" are the exact ones that would make a feminist cringe at that last sentence...those are the things I'm actually starting to enjoy! Except cooking, I could redeem myself to that same feminist by promising that I will ALWAYS let that be my husband's deal. It's not a bad thing to like it, it's just definitely not my thing. The measuring, the temptations to munch all day long, the waiting and waiting, the MESS....no thanks! Moving on, currently I just like to clean and organize my things, and make stuff. I like things all neat, tidy, and in their place. Definitely not "in their place" to a museum level where it's impossible to comfortably LIVE in the house; but to a peaceful level where I can pursue my interests (i.e. reading, sewing, cleaning, building lego kits) in a non-chaotic environment and without having to pretend I'm not home if someone unexpected rings the doorbell. This mostly includes keeping the laundry in the laundry basket, the silverware in the silverware drawer, and the toys in the toy box. My almost-two year old seems to disagree with each one of these. He likes the laundry on the floor so he can sit in the empty basket, the toys anywhere but the toy box, and well, luckily we have a child-lock on our silverware drawer so at least that stays tidy! Well, for now...
 |
| http://peachorchardproject.blogspot.com |
So I guess I understand "balance" to mean juggling all these things with grace. But does "grace" have to mean that what you see on the outside is what I'm experiencing on the inside?? My favorite quote in the whole word (and I have no idea who originally said it) is "Success is like a duck swimming. Calm and cool with unruffled feathers-on the outside; but on the inside-legs paddling like crazy!" This, unfortunately is how I operate more often than I would like to admit. This is not what I would consider balance though. I would consider balance to be calm and cool, unruffled feathers on the inside and leisurely paddling legs on the inside. But if a duck swam like that....wouldn't he sink??
3. My final, most baffling question of all...WHY when I typed the word "busy" into google images did this picture pop up???
 |
| http://blog.madcityads.com/tag/tma-peritus/
However, this answer came to me like a divine intervention when I went to the website that posted this image! The post is titled:"Blogging while waiting for a haircut, The Rule of Three and three articles that make a lot of sense…" And suddenly I feel the need to end this post so that I can check out all the resources on this page about how to be faster at writing posts...because, yes, this site has suddenly been added to my list of INTERESTS. :)
|
So the exciting factor of all these interests is you just may never know where my blog posts will go!! :) Happy reading!!
February 7, 2012
Starting With The Basics...
I've always been one who likes to read the entire "users manual" of a product before I actually use it. In fact, I even read the back of shampoo bottles in case they have any "tips" for washing your hair that I may not know about already. You would be absolutely amazed by the things you can learn just from reading information that either comes with, or is posted on products. I hate the feeling of just floundering around until you get the hang of things. I need a direct path to success or else I'm not interested. I feel like for the last couple of weeks I have just been floundering around with this sewing thing. I've decided that I need to get to work here and learn how to sew because I have a LOT of things I want to make. So I've been looking around on the internet the last couple of days trying to figure out HOW I'm going to learn this. I don't really want to go somewhere-like a little shop that has classes; well I take that back actually I DO want to do that but have NO time between working a full time job, a part-time job and raising a two year old adorable little boy. So I have to find other ways to learn and it has to fit in my schedule and there might be days or (God Forbid!) weeks or so where I may not get to my sewing machine so I need everything to PAUSE until I can get back to it. I started looking at Sewing Books...there are tons out there including The Complete Idiot's Guide to Sewing; Sewing for Dummies, Sewing With Grandma,... you get the idea. I actually looked through a bunch of books and nothing really jumped out at me like "OH THIS LOOKS SIMPLE!" I did some more searching and somehow, somewhere (divine intervention, perhaps) I came across THIS SITE and I think my days of floundering are over.
It's an ONLINE HOME-ECONOMICS class! A work at your own pace kind of class! A stop and go as you please kind of class! It never expires! No one's there to pressure me!! I love it already and I haven't even started! You have to pay for it, it's $50.00 BUT it never expires, so once you pay your $50.00 and get the password to get into the actual "classroom" blog you will have access forever! FOREVER!! The class includes 27 step-by-step projects, each project is a little more difficult than the last and features a new skill that you will learn! It even promises to make me creative! Like create my own stuff creative! I'm not totally convinced this is possible...but I guess we'll see!!
I cannot WAIT to get started (I hate waiting!). Ugh however I have a huge road block in my way... my !@%#$& craft room! I wish I would have never taken THIS picture because now I am obsessed with making-over my craft area in our basement. There's really two problems with it the way that it is now. The first problem is that really I originally fixed up the basement so my son could have a playroom....slowly I'm taking it over with my "stuff" and that's not fair to him...oh and it makes our basement look like it could be on an episode of "Hoarders". The second problem is that since I'm taking up most of his play area I clearly don't have enough room for my "stuff"! So...the obvious solution to this would be to move all my stuff over to the OTHER side of the basement and organize myself over there. Sigh. That's going to be a lot of work!! In order to move everything to the other side of the basement the perfectionist side of me has to make sure that I have all my ideas/plans "just right" before I get started moving over there. Sigh. First things first I have to make a craft table, yes you heard me right- have.to.! I need a table to stand at so I can cut and measure and other "stuff", this is non-negotiable...one has to be there for this to work out. I found some great ideas on pinterest. The idea I got my husband to agree on was purchasing two bookshelves and a piece of plywood to look make something that looks similar to this:
So clearly I need to do ALL of this before I can truly START my home ec class. So I found the two bookshelves I want to purchase for like $30.00 each at Walmart, BUT of course they are only available online so that means I have to order and wait...I HATE WAITING!! I have no patience, I do not wait. I think things through but then once I've made up my mind it's go time. My husband on the other hand is an "yea that's a good idea" but there is no pep in his step to get it done.I haven't bothered him too much yet because I'm still trying to finalize the plans in my head. Do you have ideas for me??? Please share them!! I need to get this done and get started with my home-ec class!!
February 4, 2012
The Art of Learning how to Sew
 |
| http://0.tqn.com/d/sewing/1/0/a/G/2/learn2sewprintouts.jpg |
Let's talk about cleaning. My favorite day of the week is Sunday. Partly because I work two jobs and this is my only day off and mostly because I get to spend the day with my little boy! So a relaxing Sunday used to be laying in bed or on the couch all day watching Lifetime movies, well then I had a baby so that came to a halt pretty quickly. After having Riley my favorite way to spend a Sunday was to google and girgle at him all day and get nothing done. For some odd reason my favorite way to spend a Sunday now is doing laundry and other misc. cleaning while Riley bums around "helping" me or just running around the house. It's like the perfect mix of interaction with him and productiveness.
For Christmas I got a sewing machine from my mom. This has opened completely new worlds for me and I just can't learn fast enough!! I've learned a few universal rules about the (internet) sewing world, here they are:
Rule #1. Every novice starts with pin cushion and as they learn move up to a handbag....it's like a right of passage. If you don't make these things you're not a "true" sew-er! :)
Pictured below is my right of passage:
The pin cushion thread catcher! Ta-da! It took two tries but success feels great no matter how many times you have to start over!! This brings me to the next rule
Rule #2.Everyone in the crafty/sewing community is SO NICE! I think I'm used to the world of academia where you better watch what you say and think so that you're not plagiarizing a thought or idea that someone else has already had. This is soooo false in the craft world! All the blogs sort of link back to each other and people are practically begging you to take their ideas...and then send them pictures once you have! I love that!! And now I will give you the LINK to find this pin cushion thread catcher craft to try for yourself! Here it is: Pin Cushion Thread Catcher Tutorial I will also shamelessly share a link back to my OWN blog where I talk about my first attempt at the pin cushion: Anyone Can Be Crafty, Right?
Rule #3.You pretty much need to have a craft room, be thinking about a craft room, planning and organizing a craft room in order to be a super-crafter.
While on the topic of a craft room, I would like to talk about mine. You see I was super proud of my craft area until I took a picture of it the other day! Now I'm mortified!!
Here's sort of what I imagined it looking like:
 |
| http://housetohome.media.ipcdigital.co.uk/96%7C00000c18c%7C3993_sewing-machine-4.jpg |
I'm so embarrassed! That is painful to look at!!! Some please call A&E and turn me in to that Hoarders show! Send a clean up crew. Yes, I am definitely going to have to do SOMETHING with this area. Any ideas are welcomed!!
Ok lets move on, quickly!
Rule #4: Masking tape and painter's tape are a MUST for beginning sew-ers! I cannot cut or sew in a straight line to save my life!! I read a blog on Prudent Baby to use tape to help you sew straight. So I put a long piece of masking tape on my sewing machine at the seam line I'm using and suddenly I CAN sew straight to actually save my life!! Same with cutting fabric. Well part of cutting fabric goes under rule #5, however it's important for you to know that putting masking tape on the end of the fabric helps keep your lines straight while cutting as well.
Rule #5: You have to make PATTERNS for things, don't free-lance!
So with my first pin cushion attempt I just measured and cut all the pieces separately. This I believe is part of the reason it did not turn out! None of the pieces I cut matched up! I complained about this to my mother who said she couldn't just cut without a pattern and she suggested I go to a fabric store and purchase one of those Simplicity kits that comes with a pattern. I had my little heart set on making THIS particular project though and the next day she called and said I could just measure out and make my own pattern!! Brilliant! So, I used computer paper and my beloved masking tape to make these patterns for my second attempt at the pin cushion:
This was a life saver! I cut everything a lot faster and my project turned out great! Thanks, Mom! Side note: I put the masking tape all the way around the pattern, for some reason having that on the edge prevented me from getting off course and cutting the actual pattern, I'm literally worse than a preschooler when I don't have a guide. It's bad.
So, my next project that I'm currently doing is top secret because IF it turns out it will be a gift for a friend. BUT I will FOR SURE be addressing the craft room issue again soon!
So, my next project that I'm currently doing is top secret because IF it turns out it will be a gift for a friend. BUT I will FOR SURE be addressing the craft room issue again soon!
February 2, 2012
The Power of Positive-Self Talk: Dead Mouse in Your Kitchen edition
I love animals. I love dogs the most, but I do feel bad when bugs get squashed or when I see those CSPCA commercials on TV. With that said...enter the creatures called mice. I'm sorry but I do not care, I CANNOT care, if mice die. There, I said it. Ok. actually, fine it doesn't even have to die it just needs to stay out of my personal space bubble which includes a very large radius of property, land, and people. Now I would never torture a mouse by putting down a sticky trap for it to get stuck in; and I really don't even like those snap traps because of the nastiness that those things create. I don't want the mouse to suffer, I just want the mouse to die. Since moving to our current residence my husband and I have had numerous encounters (all very terrifying in their own way) with mice. I can remember the first time that my husband and I found a mouse in our house (haha, that rhymes). Our dog was barking non-stop and scratching on this stand we have in our living room so we thought that a toy of his had gotten behind it, my husband reached his hand back there to try and grab this 'lost toy' and heard a "hisss"; we looked a little closer and discovered the beast. I was immediately standing on the couch, holding the dog and refusing to come down. My husband was frantically trying to figure out how to get the mouse out of the house without hurting it. He ended up making this "run" that looked like a maze with boxes. He then used a broom to scare the mouse (and his wife); the mouse ran out from behind that piece of furniture and then we watched it scramble through the run/maze and, by default, out the door. It was like a real-life game of 'Mouse Trap'. Woo-hoo we win!
The second mouse encounter was death by snap trap in our garage, since neither my husband or I wanted to touch it or even recognize the fact that it was there, it just stayed there until the weekend when my father-in-law came with nerves of steel to dispose of it. Denial is a very happy place. We no longer use snap traps.
We've had a few other encounters but nothing of real significance, though still horrifying in their own way. The next notable encounter was one night coming home from somewhere (can't remember where, probably blocked it out but I do remember we had Ernie with us); we walked in to the house to see a dead mouse lying in our living room. Inappropriate. My husband decides that he better "hold the dog" back so he didn't try to get the mouse which left me to dispose of the mouse. I'm still mad at him for this. So I took the snow shovel from the garage and scooped him up, then threw him into the field across the street (the mouse, not my husband). Horrible experience, just horrible. The next memorable event was probably a week or two later when I went to switch the clothes from the wash machine into the dryer and a mouse ran across my path and behind the wash machine. Ugh, ok, enough recall of past trauma -you get the point... they're in our house, they are disgusting, they scare the crap out of me, and I hate them. End of discussion, I hate them.
That brings us to this morning, 4:00am central standard time. Our dog wakes me up to go outside and like a good pet parent I oblige. Once he finished going and came back inside I said "oh good boy", rubbed his little belly, and then I walked, barefoot, into the kitchen to get him a treat. I stepped toward the the counter where the treats are and something catches my eye and I look down...DEAD MOUSE!!!! It was literally centimeters from my big toe, CENTIMETERS! This is where we begin the discussion about the power of self-talk...
My first thought was to scream and jump on the counter, I was able to control both of those impulses and I stood there for what seemed like hours and just stared at the floor (NOT the mouse) thinking and developing a dialogue of self talk to keep me from totally losing my cool. I told myself (verbatim):
"it's o.k., you're fine, it's just a mouse, it's fine, it's fine"
My next thought was to wake up my husband, but remembering the last couple times that we had a mouse inside I did not feel like making a mouse maze for it to run through (I shouldn't have to mention that since the mouse was dead that wouldn't have worked anyway); and since our dog was not even a little interested in the mouse (he was cuddled up on the couch completely unaware of my distress); I knew that the only help my husband would be is to actually physically pick up the mouse and I knew that wasn't going to happen so I concluded that it'd be pointless to wake him up. I even thought about leaving it there and pretending I never saw it so that later that day when my husband woke up he would HAVE to deal with it, but I decided that wasn't a good idea either. I continued my self-talk as I pondered all of these options:
"you're fine, it's just a mouse just like the ones you and Riley looked at at Pet Smart the other day, it's just a mouse, a mouse, it's dead...a dead mouse".
It then occurred to me that I should see if it's truly dead or maybe just playing dead (it made sense to me in the moment), so I put on the closest shoe I could find which was my slip-on dress shoes; not so sure about the intelligence of that choice presently but apparently it appeased my mind at the time. I half-sat/leaned on the counter in case the thing jumped up and ran; I gave it a little nudge and...nothing, the thing was definitely dead. First, I had to calm myself down again-
"o.k. it's dead, it's dead, it's just dead, you're fine, it's dead"
More thinking...I decide that I needed to go out in the garage and get the snow shovel. So in my sweatpants, which I have now rolled up, a t-shirt, and my black dress shoes I go out into the garage and get the snow shovel being very careful of every step I took. I grab the big orange shovel and come back inside. More thinking...more self talk.
"ok, ok, you can do this, it's just a mouse, it's dead. It's just a dead mouse. You're a mother now you have to take care of these kinds of things. If you leave this mouse here Riley will pick it up because he doesn't know any better. It's just a mouse, a dead mouse, dead, you're fine, it's dead."
More thinking..I couldn't open the garage door to take it out the back door because that would wake everyone up since our rooms are above the garage. I'd have to take it out the front door. More self talk
"I can't carry this thing through the living room! What if I drop it? How will I get the front door open so I can just run straight out?" Panic starts to surface. "You're fine, it's just a mouse, stop. You have to do this., stop. It's just a mouse..."
I grab a boot (which in hindsight should have been on my foot rather than dress shoes) and prop open the front door. I take a deep breath, grab the shovel, scoop up the mouse, run/walk through the living room and out the front door. I step onto the side walk and step back to launch the mouse into the field and slip a little. No catastrophe occurred, the mouse flew through the air and I ran back in the house as quick as possible so I wouldn't have to hear the "thud". I close the front door, more deep breathing, lock it (you know-so the mouse can't get back in), spray the area down with Lysol, wash my hands, and run/walk back up to bed. Of course as soon as I was back in bed I kept picturing myself slipping and falling and the mouse flying through the air backward at me and hitting me or worse, landing on me!! More self talk:
"That didn't happen, you were fine, you're fine now, stop thinking about it".
AND DONE, crisis over! See how easy that was?! (*note sarcasm here) Now I understand that this story may feel slightly sarcastic and maybe a tad dramatized for entertainment purposes (of which I want you to note that it is not either of those...well okay a little sarcastic but definitely all TRUE). In all seriousness though, using self-talk in stressful and/or (in my case) traumatic situations is very helpful to keep your "flight" response from taking over your "fight" response. When you think you are going to freak out and totally "lose" it, give it a try! Just calmly talk yourself through the situation-it can even be just one word or one phrase over and over again, such as "you're fine, you're fine, you're fine" or "it's just a mouse, a dead mouse, it's dead". I promise it will get you through the experience itself, you can process it and freak out later if you need to but it definitely a good technique to get you through the moment. For me, I'm kind of glad this all happened so early in the morning, because by now it almost seems like a nightmare I had. IF I would have actually stepped on the thing though, this would be a whole 'nother kind of blog that would be written from my room on the behavioral health unit at the hospital. Just sayin'
January 29, 2012
Anyone can be crafty, right??
Anyone can be crafty, right?? Mmmm, I'm not convinced. Crafts, particularly sewing actually runs on both sides of my family! My mom sews, my grandma enjoyed sewing, I have many aunts who like to sew...so I should be a natural. I think that is what is so frustrating! For Christmas I asked my mom for a sewing machine, nothing fancy just something simple. I even suggested she get one of those little ones located in the girls area of the toy section. My mom went on a hunt and found me the simplest (adult) sewing machine out there. I've mastered the whole threading, winding the bobbin, etc. So after mastering that I was ready for my first project. I went to trusty old Pinterest.com to see what I could find. I came across a website called http://www.prudentbaby.com/ they had a list of all the things a "beginner" sewer needs and then this really neat and so-called "easy" project to try. The pin cushion/thread holder, even as I type it I can fee my body tense up with frustration. You can find a step-by-step guide to the project here: http://www.merrimentdesign.com/pincushion-thread-catcher.php.
The first night went well and I completed the pin cushion and two straps:
Night #2, completed the bag:
Night 3 is where it all went wrong!!! I was trying to sew the lining into the bag and I ended up with a horrendous mess which I then tried to fix by hand-sewing which also didn't work....oh the horror.
So I got some different fabric and I'm going to start fresh...Wish me luck!
January 22, 2012
On being a girl
I'm a girl I feel like I get it, I know first hand that being a girl is tough and so does any girl reading this. I definitely went through the whole "I'm uncomfortable with who I am" stage, and still have the emotional bumps and bruises to show for it! Through my life I have yet to meet a female (young, old, or anywhere in between) who does not or has not, struggled with body image in some way. I think for some it's just in the back of their mind somewhere and for others it is extremely anxiety-provoking to the point where it affects their every day life. I believe, because I've experienced the concious mindfulness that goes in to working to overcoming this unrest and without a healthy environment in order to learn how to do so, many never find the peace that comes from just liking themselves for who they are. The worst part is that girls who never find that peace with themselves grow up to be women who don't have peace and these women become mothers, friends, aunts, cousins, teachers (etc.) that then pass the struggle, whether consciously or not, to the young girls in their lives..and another generation of the vicious cycle of self-loathing continues. It is important for girls to have a healthy foundation to start out with in the world, in order for that to happen the influential women in their very early life need to have peace with themselves so they can pass that peace on. It is also important for young girls to have access to positive adult role models from outside of their families and also a positive peer group. Lastly girls who have already started down, are in the middle of, or have grown up but never gotten off the path of self-loathing need a positive environment, healthy support system and "game plan" to jump on to the path of self-respect.
I give credit to my parents for giving me a strong foundation. Home was my safe haven, I knew that no matter what happened in school or in the community, no matter who didn't like me or what went on during the day I could be myself at home and my family loved me. I am very lucky to have had that. There was not an emphasis on looks, I didn't see my mom crash dieting or looking in the mirror at herself and saying negative things. We never dieted together and if she did have poor body image, I was completely unaware of it. I knew that to my dad I was his little girl and it didn't matter what I looked like. He would often say things to me like "I like it better when women don't wear makeup" or "who cares what that girl thinks of you, you know better than to think that's true". Dorky, I know, and I remember telling him that at the time. But the truth is that was my rock, home was my shield. Strangely even my brothers and I didn't emphasize looks. They never told me I was ugly or fat or have any nicknames for me that would later haunt me. Truthly we were probably too busy fighting over who was next to play Nintendo or why my brother didn't tell me there was a Jam and the Rockers marathon on TV. Regardless, when I was at home nothing could get to me because my parents took care of my emotional needs and because of that my foundation was built on rocks rather than sand.
Unfortunately for them, and for me, I then entered middle school. Now I'm like 99.5% sure that middle school for a girl in the 90's would have been a breeze compared to the things that girls experience in middle school now. But the message is the same, and the pain is the same. That message is that if you are not pretty, skinny, sporty, outgoing, and/or (fill in the blank) you are nothing, you do not matter. If you do not conform to society's idea of what a girl should look, act, and be like then you are weird and different. As far back as I can remember there is nothing worse in middle school than to be thought of as wierd, different, and/or worthless. I think for the most part I flew pretty far under the bully radar for most of middle school but I do remember a couple of "mean girls" who to this day I have no respect for. Though I flew under the radar as a target for bullies, I caught on quickly to the "girl" culture of what I "should" look like and how I "should" act. And just like every other girl that struggles, I didn't think I looked or acted the way I should and spent many years reaching for a goal I could never obtain.
I remember the summer that I started jogging. I am not a very patient person, I need results quickly and I was the same way back then. I laugh now, because I remember I had these ankle weights that I would velcro onto my ankles and then jog/walk a pretty short distance; I would come home feeling pretty defeated because I walked more than I ran. (Huh, I wonder why). I also clearly remember how much easier jogging was when I stopped wearing those! This was the summer that I decided I was going to give up anything that might make me "fat" which was apparently just about everything. I ate cereal, yogurt, granola, and toast when I was hungry and drank only water. All those years of good metabolism wasted!! I remember that it was the middle of my junior year in high school when one of my teachers noticed I had lost some weight and told me how "good" I looked. That fueled the fire, I must be doing something right! Although I would hear these things from others everytime I looked in the mirror I didn't see any change, only flaws. My struggles continued and probably amplified in college. The cool thing was that when I got to college I could work out in a gym so on top of jogging, which I was actually pretty good at by then, I would hit the gym daily sometimes twice a day. Instead of gaining freshman 15, I'm pretty sure I lost at least 15 if not more! The madness continues into young adulthood. By the time I graduated from college I was training to participate in different types of activites, mainly 5k's and this crazy 4 hour adventure race in Maquoketa that included canoeing, running, and biking and then an 8 hour race in Des Moines that was similar to the one in Maquoketa. I think the height of my madness was preparing for my wedding, I would literally go to the gym before work and then again after. It was crazy and I was crazy fit...even though I still didn't think so. After getting married, life settled in and I started to realize that I had better things to do then work out all the time and also that I really liked food!! I almost feel like I "burnt out" from going to the gym which was good because it made me struggle with my negatives thoughts until I could finally overcome them.
Overcoming those thoughts doesn't mean I never have them. It doesn't mean that I still don't have my weak moments and sore spots. Overcoming those thoughts is a concious decision I make every day to like who I am regardless of how I look and/or how much I weigh. Concious thinking is making a point to remember that I have a beautful family, a full-time job, a part-time job, and too many interests to pursue than to waste my time thinking about my body. Concious thinking also includes eating healthy as often as possible but healthy living can now be described more accurately now as discipline rather than punishment.
Where I have come out of all of this turmoil is a woman who is happy with who she is and who can be happy for others. I also have a lot of compassion for girls who are entering the phase in their life where they come to the proverbial fork in the road with a choice to either take the road that leads them to self confidence or the road to society's perfection that is long, difficult, un-necessary and the outcome is unknown. I truly believe that girls need strong role models to help them make the right choice, to push them in the direction of the road to self confidence. Parents are absolutely necessary for planting the seed for a strong foundation but all the responsibility cannot be on them. Young girls need strong role models that reach out to them and their peers not to preach to them but just to walk along side them guiding them in the direction of self-confidence, self-esteem, and ultimately true happiness.
So, to make a long story short which I am rarely able to effectively do, I have recently been researching a program that I've heard about and that a friend and I are working to help bring to the area. The program is called "Girls on the Run".
Here is the idea: To inspire girls to be joyful, healthy and confident using a fun, experience-based curriculum which creatively integrates running. The objective of Girls on the Run is to educate and empower girls at an early age in order to prevent the display of at-risk activities in the future. At risk activities include substance/alcohol use, eating disorders, early onset of sexual activity, sedentary lifestyle, depression, suicide attempts and confrontations with the juvenile justice system.
Here's the link to the video:
This program has statistical validity of it's success to reach girls and build self-esteem. The founder, Molly Barker, is passionate and has a story of her own to tell and a powerful, successful program that was bred from her own turmoil. When girls are lead in the right direction, these are the outcomes that they can create for themselves and when they do this the cycle of poor self-esteem is broken. To look at the issue as a whole is overwhelming but to think about reaching only one person is empowering. What if the one girl you reach grows up to be someone like Molly Barker who in turn creates a program that reaches hundreds of thousands of girls in over 173 cities in North America and grows bigger and bigger every year? Was it worth your time?
If you are interested in helping bring this program to Linn County/Cedar Rapids, please email me at vwieben@gmail.com
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)